surrender to me..

i haven't post anything in two days, just don't know what to write or what story to tell even when there's so many things happen this couple of days. i felt tired and moody lately, maybe because of my workloads and other stuff that need to be taken care off. no complains though but seriously, i do need a holiday. i need to get away for a while, maybe after my work is done then i'll get some time off from all this, Insya-Allah..

i have this website that i often get some nice love quotes from, don't get me wrong cos it's not like i'm in love or anything but i just like reading some of the quotes.

"You will never know love unless you surrender to it."

i find this quite true actually. honestly, even when i'm a kinda of person who love all those romantic movies, love songs, quotes or whatever but i'm not really person who believes that those kind of love exist. oh ok sorry, maybe thats my ego talking so let me put it in a nice way possible, :)

i do believe in this sacred word that called 'love'. it does a lot of things to us in a way, it made us happy, sad and the list goes on. but some things happen that made me look back and think, what if it's not enough? what if there are some other factors that can also contribute for making this work. in the past, i've seen what love can do to people. well, i won't elaborate on the details cos i know i don't really have a right to judge them but only sit back n think and examine. but they survived and willing to give love a try again somehow. hmm...ok ok, i think it's time to take off that EGO hat off now and maybe surrender to it, but let it comes softly.....

i've watched u walk away...

today is my dad's 57th bday, happy birthday to you and hope u have a long and healthy life ahead of you. unfortunately, i forgot to wish him this morning due to a packed schedule and a long list of tasks that i have to finish by the end of the day. i felt bad in a away, but maybe i can just treat him for sungkai somewhere soon, Insya Allah. maybe some people didn't know, we don't really bonded for the last couple of years. well so many things happen that i don't think i can elaborate here but whatever happen, he is still my father and i still have a respect for him.hmm,enuff said..

just checked my email and i came across this movie quote that was send to me by lovingyou.com website,

"There is nothing sadder in this life than to watch someone you love walk away after they have left you. To watch the distance between your two bodies expand until there is nothing left but empty space... and silence."

true eh....? now i have nothing else to say..

Crossroads

i can't sleep, lots of thoughts came across my mind. it's tiring sometimes to be in this kind of situation but well i have to go through it somehow, one way or another. at one point, everything looks clear and at the other end everything just so blurry and hard to understand.

just finish having my sahur with my family at a restaurant in Anggerek, a treat by my sister cos as anybody knows it was a govt pay day yesterday. yesterday was also one of the busiest day at the office. we have to catch up with the deadline of achieving our sales target for this month but unfortunately there's a lot if setbacks that i have to face which made me more temperamental than before. i almost got a fight with one of my colleague, who is in a way one of the most annoying human being i ever knew. i guess he caught me in a bad time, lucky its puasa and i don't want to ruin my day completely so i just packed all my work in my bag and just went home.

i felt bad in a way that, i let my emotions take control of my head. i hate that when it happens, cos at the end i'll regret all the things that i've done before. it's just that at this point in my life, things just so messed up.i need to sort out everything fast, to know which one is genuine and which one is fake. sometimes i just wish there would be a sign that can show me which path to go, which road to travel. oh well...

at the end of the day, i still need to pick and choose......

We are family..

photo taken yesterday evening with my 3 sisters. it was a sungkai treat and Doa Selamat at Rest Hj Zainal for our family and also a long due celebration for my 2 nephew's birthday. special thanks for my sister, anih for the treat :)

let bygones be bygones......

heard a story last night from a friend, a news that's worth waiting for. at least the truth comes out somehow even it's not that soon. honestly, i don't really care much about it anymore because for me past is past but frankly, the scars still remain. i'm a forgiving person but i don't easily forgotten. sometimes i wonder, how can some people be that cruel and selfish. they don't care about our feelings but themselves. even when things are settle now, i just can't go back to where i was before, that's my pride they're messing with. it took me ages to built a castle but it only took seconds for people to destroy it. well, nvm then..just let bygones be bygones.....

someday, it will be over...

Taking chances

haven't post anything yesterday. it was a crazy day! i had to attend appointments with the clients, answering phone calls, briefing, paperworks etc..end up went home from office at 5.30. everybody else has gone home already except for my supervisor and ka nita, she also have to finish her work too. since it was already late , i just stopped by and bought some foods at stadium stall.

i didn't go for terawih cos have to bring my brothers to Nazmi Textile, i forgot that i had promised them one baju melayu each, lucky my mom remind me about it that morning. sorry guys, faham2 lah aku ani pelupa! hehehe..well, after that i went to lyn's crib to play Risk with the rest of the gang and as we know it took us till morning to finish the game, had our sahur there and went home around 5. unfortunately i have to get up at 8 to go to work , gosh..only 3 hours of napping time :)

i felt restless, even just a few hours of sleep especially in this fasting month, i didn't feel tired especially at night. i don't know why maybe it also a way for me to distract myself from some issues that's been bothering me lately. hmm..sometimes, i wish life is that simple. or am i the one who made it difficult, for myself and the people around me? i know at some point, i do made it hard for anyone to get thru, to get inside the door that's been locked in ages. but i know, i can't stay like this forever. i need to find that key...

i'll take my chances...

Being normal

~If you really wanna work it out, then stop denying~
~Quit living in the past of time, you face the truth~
~I got this ice box where my heart used to be~

Song of the day - Omarion feat. Usher ~Icebox Remix

i felt empty inside, a little confused..i need to do some soul-searching for now. i need to get myself back, being normal..

if only i know where to start...

Unfinished business

yesterday evening, i went to Orchid Garden Hotel for sungkai buffet with few of the handlers. it's been weeks i think since last time we went for training together, so it felt good seeing some of them here tonight. we even take pictures but too bad i didn't have any of it for now, maybe i get it next time and post it here :)

for the last few weeks, i've been trying to organize and settle a lot of tasks that needs to be done. paperworks, calculations, some personal agendas etc..well, it feels like a never-ending list. one thing done, 1000 more to go! hehe...well,i guess what i have to do is plan well all the work that needs to be done(typical!) and hope the list didn't increases, not for now..


what we need is a first move..

It's a game of risk...

picture taken last night, while a bunch of us playing game of Risk at lyn's house. most of us are beginners except for lyn i think, so can imagine how's the situation was last night, riuh kali ah! hehehe..but we have a lots and lots of fun! well, i stay at her house with py till morning. btw, thanks for sahur lyn :)

today is my lovely sister's bday. Happy Birthday Jah, hope u have a great life ahead of u n all your wishes come true. btw, how old are u again? hehehe..jgn mare ah


someday, i will find the missing pieces......

saturday..

i don't why, but suddenly i miss this place and of course handball. oh yea..it is saturday :)


now i'm left hanging by a moment..

Just leave it to fate

it's a second day of the fasting month of ramadhan. the weather is cold outside,raining.. hardly see sunshine these days. last night went to perform terawih prayer along with my mom and two brothers. we never miss it every year and this year is no exception, Insya-Allah..

it's funny when some things work out, maybe not perfectly well but still i can say, ok..sometimes, its far beyond our expectations. well, who can predict what's happening tomorrow or the next day? for me, the answer is nobody..at this point, we just leave it to fate and let it show us the way..


and nothing else really matters....

If only..

first of all, i would like to say' bon voyage' to 2 of my friends, Zainur & Faridah who's flying to UK tonight. good luck in your study, too bad we can't celebrate hari raya together this year. To far, hang in there ayte..Insya Allah i'll see you next year , sama2 tani liat Liverpool main ah.. ada ku tu ke sana sama c Bintang :)

tomorrow is the start of holy month of Ramadhan . hmm..time flies so fast, sometimes i just can't adapt to the changes around me. people come and go in our lives, some stays but some left for whatever reasons that we don't have control over. honestly, at some point i do miss those moments when there's only laughter and no tears in our eyes.arggh..wish i could turn back the time. oh well, life goes on..


Do i ever cross your mind, anytime..

My Immortal..

These wounds won't seem to heal..
This pain is just too real..
There's just too much that time cannot erase...

I felt empty inside. If only things were different, if only the choice is in my hand.....

Blue..

today, i woke up feeling blue. don't ask me why, maybe it's a wrong side of a bed i guess, hmm..nothing seems so right today. i don't even feel like going to work, i just want to stay at home n let this day be over but well, i have to go on with it, like it or not. then this afternoon, i got a surprise call from a fren telling me someone i knew passed away yesterday afternoon, Al-Fatihah..

and suddenly it made me think, life is way too short and i know i can't take it way to seriously. i just can't waste it by doing nothing, i need to live it to the fullest and still enjoy it while i can. but in the same time always remember our obligations to the One. a fren of mine used to say, what's the point of life if it's not worth living? well, maybe she's right. wat's the point of living if we didn't know which direction we're going to n wat's the purpose of going on if by the end of the day it was basically nothing? okay okay, that is way too deep for today. gosh, i just can't think straight for now..everything in one day.hmm..i just need to go home, visit my granny, take a nap and make this feeling go away..

Tomorrow's Gonna Be A Better Day..

9th September..

it's my 28th bday! well happy birthday to me..haha..anyway, thanks for all the birthday wishes from everyone. members of the family n some of my frens, thanks a lot for remembering my bday, may all of u be blessed and special thanks to ka nita, for the birthday cake and the treat( i left my wallet at home, pelupa banar!) even though only 2 of us turned up, biasalah last minute punya changes but lucky i managed to call lyna to come n then joined by erda n py to celebrate with me dat afternoon, thanks girls:)

at night, we went for sushi at escapade qlap around 8pm. i was surprised to see the 3 girls with their new look, well girls..looking good :) nda rugi tu bejam2 di salon ah hehehe..and thanks for the present, now i have another 3 in my collection (plus ka nita's gift of course).thanks a lot!

hmm..it went well, even though this year i didn't celebrate it with anyone special(again!) or my bestfren who is away in kk but it is still a day to remember. each year, we met a lot of new people, strangers who then we developed a bond of friendship with and i'm grateful i meet these bunch of people,they also play a part of making this day memorable even it is coincidental in away. well, tomorrow is another new day. I'll work a little harder but more smarter, try to give a time for myself and hoping all my wishes be granted, maybe sooner or maybe later but each n every day i'll pray for it to happen,who knows..

well, next week Insya Allah, we'll be celebrating the start of Holy month of Ramadhan. hmm..can't wait :)

I feel suffocated, all i need is a room to breathe..

It's just around the corner..

yesterday was one of the busiest day, we're having 'tahlil' at home around 5pm. i have to take a half day leave from work yesterday coz i also promise my mum to take her to hua ho mall manggis that morning. well, lucky i don't really have a lot of appointment with the customers (dissapointments ada lah! , hmm..don't wanna talk about dat :()..anyway, i managed to take a nap for a while in the afternoon before the function cos my eyes was too tired from staying up the previous nite, biasa ler bejaga sja bah mlm2 hehehe :D.



after tahlil, i managed to sneak out of the house juz to go to mph for handball, call me an addict but yea i am haha..an hour before that i already prepared my sports gear n parked my car at an area far away so i can make an early exits juz to go for handball and arrived at mph around 7 still with my baju kurong! hehe..sanggup2..anyway, i only played for around 20 mins or so but it was fun even though only a bunch of the handlers turn up. oh yea, welcome back py! she's back for good this time, surprised to see her at mph yesterday :)

btw, the day i've been waiting for is just hours away. tomorrow is my birthday..

the debut

yea..juz created my first blog!( apart from the one in friendster hehe..), at least now i have another 'extra curricular activities' that i can do, hehehe..udah th schedule hectic mau jua kan be blog lagi..oh well at least i have something else 2 do 2 divert a bit of my attention from work n other stuff. i need a place for solitude, to wind up, to relax my mind, to express myself n my own views and to everything n everything else :D. oh well, enuff said..