3 In The Morning

its 3.25am and i suddenly woke up from a bad dream. i've been going to bed early lately, felt tired from the hectic schedule for the last few days. i'm looking forward for february actually, don't know why or maybe because of the public holiday. kan cuti sja ani bah:)

If only you knew.....

You Give Me Something.....

James Morrison - You Give Me Something

You only hold me when I sleep
I was meant to tread the water
But now I've gotten in too deep
For every piece of me that wants you
Another piece backs away

'Cos you give me something
That makes me scared, alright
this could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try
Please give me something
Cos someday I might know my heart

You only waited up for hours
Just to spend a little time alone with me
Like I say I've never bought you flowers
I can't work out what they mean
Never thought I'd love someone
That was someone else's dream

'Cos you give me something
That makes me scared, alright
And this could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try
Please give me something
Cos someday I might call you from my heart
But it might be a second too late
And the words that i could never say
Gonna come out anyway

'Cos you give me something
That makes me scared, alright
And this could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try
Please give me something
Cos someday I might know my heart
know my heart, know my heart

One day, a good friend of mine text me early in the morning and asked me to hear this song (she had her own reason for doing so actually (thanks) and i do like the song so i'll post it here. i'm in a mood for some love songs at the moment, sorry for that but just felt like it, hee..

ASC's Night...

The Asc's Team Building dinner last night, at Mabohai Sports Complex.

A little peace of mind....

a lot of my friends keep asking me where had i been for the last few months. they felt like i've been avoiding them, even my best friend felt like i don't want to see her anymore which was so not right. i can't really explain the reason for my mysterious disappearance to everyone, let it be my little secrets. once in a while, people need a time of their own even myself. a lot has been happening and i just can't seem to absorb everything in one go. i know being 'invisible' is not a good option but at the moment that's the only choice i can think of. i know, sooner or later i have to come out from the sanctuary but let it be from my own will to do so.

found my place at the other side of the world.....

Farewell To The Knight...

Heath Ledger was found dead at Tuesday, 22 January 2008 at his Manhattan apartment. he was a great actor and one of my favorite..

A Long Day.....

how amazing it was when a lot of things can filled a course of the day. sometimes it can be something good or an eye opener. something that we never could really thought of. well, we learn something new everyday rite? the only regret was that i was never able to take any actions earlier. maybe i'm just oblivious of such things or just plain ignorant. in my state of mind at the moment, i just can't seem to be sure which is which. who to be blamed or who's faults was it on the first place. one mistake that people used to make is taking things for granted and it could be the habit that they couldn't break. how selfish they can be, or maybe partly could be blamed on me. a friend ever said to me, too much trust can kill you and i think she's right. oh well, the damages has been done. there's nothing left to say. maybe it's true what people say, being good doesn't really pays but being bad does...

Between The Lines...

Can't Fight The Moonlight......

how do you get back and pick up the pieces that you left way back? something that you thought could never be given back to you or you'll never imagine finding it again after a long long time? maybe it's hard to understand what i'm talking about at the moment, even myself still in a process of examining those details everyday. there's a lot of changes happened in my life lately. something unexpected but good. things just fell at the right places and i think at a right time. but why did i still have an urge to fight everything and just pretend it was something superficial?

well, there's a lot of things that were at stake. simply said, maybe everything. tell me i worried too much but yea,i do. sometimes i ask myself, is all this worth the risk, if things are not going well in the end but then at this point, it doesn't seem to matter anymore. i don't wanna fight it, i'm tired of running. run from the fact that its what i want but choose to be ignorant so it won't hurt my pride. it's what i always do. but this time, i just couldn't afford to run anymore.i can't fight the moonlight.....

Mild Fever..

i've been under the weather lately. caught a flu for a few days already and just hope its not getting worse. or maybe feeling a little fatigue. lots of work, less rest which means lack of sleep too. sometimes i could stay late thinking. either its something important or the worst part is all those unnecessary things. oh well, i should take some rest now..

A Family Affair...

a family bbq dinner at my grandparent's house

Angel Of Mine...

The 2 birthday celebrants last night....

Happy Birthday Mum

a very special bday wish for my mum on her birthday today. happy bday mummy, you're my inspiration and my strength thru the years, in my ups and downs. hugs n kisses, love you with all my heart :)

Quote of the day

this quote was sent to my email from lovingyou.com (well, they sent to me daily);

"The one that loves you at your worst is the one that deserves you at your best."
- Jonathan Florendo

quite true eh? what do you think? hmm...

My Sanctuary...

how i spend my sunday....

Lost and Confused...

it seems like my mind don't work out clearly and perfectly well these past few days. don't know why, maybe because there's a lot of things going on. it's hard to swallow everything in just one go thus it made be not being myself. i feel lost out of sudden. maybe i just need a little time to recuperate, to find my way back into the game.

if i could run, anywhere but here.....

Chances Are.....

what chance do we have, when we have so little to give yet nothing to lose? when too many things are at stake, what else can we put as an offer? perhaps nothing. i don't know, it's hard to know for sure. it feels like gambling, putting everything on the table without any knowledge or assurance that either we could win all or end up losing everything? why is it so hard, even what we want is just a chance for happiness?

A New Beginning.....

Selamat Menyambut Tahun Baru Hijrah 1429 for all muslim readers out there including my family and friends. may all of us be bless, Amin :)

A Quiet Wednesday....

taking a minute break, a quiet afternoon in SCB office...

a lesson to learn....

i learned some valuable lessons yesterday. even how careful we planned our life, sometimes fate can intervene and just change the course of it or maybe delay it for a while. i had my share of experience just yesterday. who can believe in just one day we already learned so much about some things that we don’t really pay attention before. It’s not always something big but more of those little ones. Due to my carelessness, I accidentally hit a pole which was purposely put in front of this bike
dealership in gadong to prevent anyone to park their cars there. Lucky for me, it only dent my car a bit and left yellow paint on my front bumper which means I only have to polish it just to remove the paint. Which was supposed to be a quick meeting with the bike dealer became an hour wait at the workshop just to get my car fixed. Aih..silly me…

but a friend once said, even how bad your day started, you’ll get something good out of it at the end or something more meaningful are yet to come. That’s what happen to me, I won’t elaborate much on the details because I think it’s best to keep it sealed and just for myself but lets just say it did make my day better plus I got to learn something new about someone, all the small things but yet precious. I’m not making any sense am I? oh well…still evaluating……

Fight, in the name of something...

how far would we go and fight for something that we felt worth it? are we willing to sacrifice everything that we had and just pursue that one thing in life? i often questioned myself, if one day i was in that shoes will i be able to fight just for the sake of pursuing my own true happiness. will i be brave enough to defy the odds and came out a winner? at the moment, i don't have the answer for that question. honestly, i'm still doing some soul searching at the moment. the last few weeks has been an eye opener. even how observant i am to others, i am ignorant to my own true self. i often said, fight for something if its worth it or show how much we cared but how ashamed, i don't really apply the rules myself. i don't know what stops me from doing so, it's my pride i guess. oh well, shame on me. hmm..maybe one of these days...

Those missing pieces.....

i'm looking for some missing pieces on a perfect puzzles,it's hard to put everything together when all the clues seems to be blurry. feels like the pieces was hid somewhere so no one could ever find it or maybe i just have to look for it at an unusual places...

if only things weren't that complicated.....

A wake up call..

i learned some valuable lessons yesterday, i dont want to elaborate more at the moment, maybe ill do it in my future post but lets just say its more like a wake up call. when things get a little messy, the one thing we should do is try to find the problem and look for the best solution available..

Hello 2008..

Happy New Year 2008 to all readers, my family and friends.2007 brings a lot of memories for me, some bad but above all it got some of sweetest memories and taught me a lot of valuable lessons in life. i just hope 2008 will be one great year, less heartache but more happiness all year long, Insya-Allah.....